I’ve been drowning in a sea of affirmations, shackled by Positivity Police, lips sewn shut with glittering pink threads. Weighted down by the heaviness of the words I really want to be saying and the crush of not saying them.
The lure of Light Easy Listening woo-woo, is strong. We all want to live fabulously abundant and wildly joyful lives. There is nothing wrong with that. The danger lies in believing you can have that life without any work or by ignoring ‘negative’ things.
If you ignore something, you can’t change it. If you repress something, it festers.
I am a festering well of rotting dreams overflowing with discontent. My creative well has been tainted and poisoned.
That is something I’ve always wanted to save you from. Not like a gleaming knight on pure white steed, but like a friend with a flashlight and decent sense of direction.
It’s part of what made Creativity Coaching sound like such a wonderful career and tugs at the back of my mind every time I wonder if art or intuitive readings should be my focus.
But I never get anywhere, I haven’t pulled a Houdini and freed myself of the shackles of what everyone else is vomiting up and shoving down our throats.
I’ve let my fear hold me back. I’ve let the belief that I’m not good enough to help you hold me back. I’ve let the illusion that my weird, different, non-mainstream way of seeing things is wrong and not what people want/need keep my mouth stitched shut.
And I am sick of it. I’ve been aware of what I was doing to myself for along time. I bought into the Positivity Police Propaganda, even though it was like nails on chalkboard, and I believed that I wasn’t doing the affirmations right, that I didn’t want things badly enough to attract them, that I wasn’t spiritual enough. What a crock of shit.
I’ve wondered how to find the key to unshackle myself. Which shiny new woo thing would give me the key.
Guess what? Not a damned one of them will.
You and me, we’ve got to forge the key for ourselves.
It is dirty sweaty work, but I’m certain it’s better and more rewarding than drowning.