Money Shaming in the marketing of lifestyle/business coaching is a totally normal way of doing things and it’s harmful as hell.
It’s a shitty form of marketing that only serves to fatten the bank accounts of coaches who use it. As consumers we’ve become so indoctrinated to negative marketing practices sometimes we don’t notice what they are doing to us.
Money Shaming tries to make itself look like it’s helping you to make brave positive choices for your life or business, but it’s just a lie to separate you from your money as quickly as possible with little thought of what the consequences for you are.
I’m not into that shit. It’s harmful and a total asshole thing to do.
If you can’t afford to work with me right now, that’s totally OK. If you’d like to talk about some ways that might help you afford it, OK. If not, that’s OK too. I have no interest in putting my clients into debt or trying to force them to choose between working with me and paying rent or buying food. Fuck that shit.
Money Shaming is coaches telling you things like:
If you don’t buy my X, you’re not really committed to your dreams.
No one will invest in you, if you don’t invest in yourself.
If you don’t invest X dollars into your thing, you won’t be successful. X is usually the price of their thing.
Charge what you are worth. Or any statement that puts a monetary value on you as a person.
If you don’t have X (money, status, elite whatever) you’re not important.
If you really cared about your X you’d find away to pay for my service.
Your excuses for not being able to afford my X are just fears that you need to quash by buying my X.
Stating the very bad things will happen if you don’t give them your money for their thing.
Any thing that makes you feel bad about having to choose between food/rent or buying their thing.
It can also be as subtle as them not listing their prices on their site.
That are many many more examples. They are all twisty manipulative and totally suck ass and usually come disguised and some positive affirmation bullshit.
I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to choose between surviving and working with me or anyone else. There is nothing shameful or wrong with being at a point in your life where you can’t spend $500 on coaching let alone several thousand.
I’ve heard stories of people going into debt to buy some coaching program, maxing out credit cards or skipping mortgage payments in hope of being able to make it up later. Most of the time these programs/services/products don’t deliver and you never see a return on your ‘investment’.
I’ve had it happen to me. When I first got into Creativity Coaching, I looked at several different training programs. The one I picked wasn’t the cheapest or the best. The marketing they used was very manipulate and I felt that if I didn’t buy, I was failing myself and my family. That program turned out to be a complete waste of several thousand dollars that I struggled to pay for. Sometimes I still feel guilty for not making that program work, like I failed it instead of it failing me.
I’m still working on the guilt around that money.
When you are deciding to work with a coach, take your time and really listen to yourself and how you feel. When you talk to them about buying, how do you feel? Ashamed? Guilty? Or inspired and excited? Is there something twisting in the pit of your stomach?
As women, society has taught us to ignore our own inner wisdom about ourselves and to not trust ourselves to know what is best for us. It takes practice to learn to listen again. You know what is best for you. I promise.
It is OK to not be able to afford a certain coach or any coaching at all. That doesn’t mean you’re a failure or a bad person or whatever other bullshit some dick bag has been trying to sell you. Start with free resources and go from there.
There are coaches that are awesome, ones that have services at a variety of price levels, that are worth investing your money in because their services will actually help you. Seek them out.
If you can’t afford me right now or maybe I’m not the type of coach you are looking for, but still need some help, contact me. I’m happy to point you toward other resources or coaches that may be able to serve you better.