The Manifestation Shame Game: Feelings

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The other day a quote from a coach came across my FaceBook feed and really pissed me off. This is what normally happens with most Law of Attraction or Manifesting teachings I come across. I don’t have problems with LOA in itself, just with the way it is being taught by most people.

“Your life is a manifestation of how you feel.”

If you feel good, you have a good life. Feel bad, have a bad life. Feel wealthy, be wealthy. Feel poor, be poor.

When I read things like this it bugs the shit out of me. It’s full of shaming and guilt tripping. It doesn’t take into account that our lives have other people in them or people that we will never meet can have huge impacts on our lives.

I’m totally into taking responsibility for your life. Take responsibility for your feelings and learn to deal with them in actually healthy ways. You don’t have to take responsibility for other people or how the deal with their feelings.

Since this quote is about feelings, it shames us for having ‘negative’ feelings. Feelings that are labeled as negative are totally normal and an important part of our experience. They need to be felt, dealt with, and healed. Not ignored. Not be used at a tool to shame us into feeling worse.

Then there is the implied notion that your income level is based on how you feel. (A lot of manifestation teachings focus on money.)

You are poor because you feel poor, not because of society and culture.

Fucking seriously? Please go tell a homeless person they just need to stop feeling homeless. Or a mother struggling to support her family with her minimum wage job that she is only broke because she feels broke. It doesn’t have anything to do with systematic bull shit.

I’m not saying that a struggling mother doesn’t have things that she can feel abundant about. She can feel an abundance of love for her family, but that doesn’t change how shaming and damaging teaching LOA and manifesting in this way can be.

None of these things may have entered the author of this quote mind when she wrote it. That in itself is part of the problem with many LOA teachings. It’s thoughtless harm dressed up as something healing.

I struggle to pay my bills and buy food for my family every month. This has nothing to do with the way I feel and a lot to do with the fact I’ve been unexpectedly forced to care for my mom and pay all of her expenses. This quote would have me believe that my life is currently this way because of something I felt.

My feelings lead to my mom getting sick and moving in with us. How shitty is that?

I don’t believe that and I’m certainly not going to promote/share/teach that kind of thinking to anyone else. Maybe I need to write a book on manifesting without being a total asshole.

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