Author: Delisa

WTF Did I Just Read: Love Bites

WTF Did I Just Read is a regular-ish feature all about all the fuckery in romance & erotica fiction. I read this shit so you don’t have to.

 

There is a lot of biting going on in romance/erotica. Mainly in werewolf/vampire stories. It’s not what I would call ‘fun biting’ either. It’s a nip that brands the women in these stories as property of the men.

The idea of being owned as a piece of property is really disturbing to me and not at all romantic or sexy.

The women are usually forced into being bitten/claimed/owned by some life threatening or awful circumstance. She may agree to the biting, but it is a decision made under duress when she is given very little choice.

The men doing the biting are portrayed as the nice/good guy, doing all he can to save the damsel in distress. In many stories the events that lead to the biting are the result of his own actions.

His asshat or careless behavior has contributed to what is going on, but the woman is the paying the price. She is a pawn in whatever family/clan/gang/whatever bullshit he has going on.

These stories reinforce the patriarchal teachings that women are property of men, that we have no choices of our own, that we as ‘good girls’ must let the men handle things in whatever way they see fit.

We are props in their lives. Tools for them to use.

Sometimes, the women choose to be claimed in the heat of passion, usually without a full understanding of what being owned entails. She gives into her bodies desires and forgets to use her brain. We all know that when a hot guy is horny for you, no matter how big of a jerk he is, your body wants him and you have no choice but to go with it. Right?

I don’t know. I’ve never had some supernatural hottie try to bang me.

Really this is another sneaky way we are taught to not listen to our better judgment. If a man is good looking, how big of an asshole he is doesn’t matter. Maybe there is something ‘wrong’ with the woman. Like she is ‘curvy’. If you are anything other than the standard of perfection, you should be thankful that this totally fly jack wagon is paying any attention to you at all.

Fuck me. Who is writing this shit and why are we so eager to devour it?

Our idea of romantic and sexy is twisted. I’m not talking about people who love being bitten or the ones doing the biting during sex. The biting going on in these stories isn’t about pleasure. It’s about keeping women in their place.

It’s fantasy being used to keep us chained to a reality where women are disposable pieces of property.

Rame: Abstract Print

 

Rame means, something that is both chaotic and joyful at the same time.

The e should have one of those little lines above it, but I haven’t figured out how to do that. (Post in the comments if you do.) (seriously.)

This is a shot of a section of one of the pink acrylic pours I did. It reminds me of some sort of tissue sample.

Professionally printed & shipped to you by the printer.

 

I’m running a Kickstarter for a Acrylic Pour Painting Series.

I’m totally fucking in love with this painting technique. Completely head over heels.

I can’t stop making them. I’m counting down the hours until I can get to the store to buy more supplies.

I don’t even like pink and I still love this one. Now that I know how to do this, there is no going back.

I’m currently running a Kickstarter to help raise funds to create a series of these paintings.

Check it out!

Love & Light/New Age is abusive AF

Their spaces overflow with Spiritual Bypassing, Female Lifestyle Empowerment Branding, thinly veiled abuse.

When I decided to shift directions with my biz after being called to notice how Goddesses had turned into marketing ploys, I asked several groups of women if they had negative experiences within the Love & Light/New Age crowd.

I was shocked to hear how many of them had suffered some form of abuse or felt like they’d been financially ripped off.

The spiritual paths & teachings that were supposed to heal us became twisted tools of further harm. The sacred circles/places just another sanctuary for abusers to hide.

I had pretty much cut myself off from these communities when I was much younger, I didn’t feel comfortable, but I couldn’t pinpoint why. Now that I’m trying ease back into this industry, it’s very clear to me what kind of work I need to be doing.

You deserve better than have your wallet emptied & get shit on in the name of whatever Goddess or God  they’ve decided is cool at the moment.

Offerings of Love & Light are sweet, but it takes action to change the world. Love & Light let’s people, who are at a safe distance from the fire, feel like they’re helping out. Like they are good people.

If it doesn’t help?

“Well, you weren’t being positive enough. You attracted this with your negative thinking. You need to buy this cleansing spray/incense/crystal and take my special training for the low price of $999. Can’t afford it? You don’t love yourself. “

This is total bullshit and it needs to stop. Let’s start seeing this for what is it, abuse, not spiritual enlightenment.

I’m the sort of person that just can’t sit quietly by when shit like this is going on. I have zero tolerance for fuckery. I’m the kind of woman who makes grown men piss their damn pants. He was shooting his rifle in a very unsafe manor.

I have mastered the art of seeming more dangerous than I am.

I’m not a violent person.

I don’t promote violence.

I also have no fucking problem with getting violent when a situation calls for it.

This is what makes me so good at helping other people (mostly women) stand up/speak up/bitch up.

 

Need some help with that? Check out Own Your Magick or Contact Me.

Oh, faux goddess of marketing wank, thou art sneeky.

There are people twisting the Divine Feminine into a weapon, swathed in gossamer pastels, crystal bedazzled, spritzed with flowery essential oils, stamped with the patriarchy’s seal of approval and thrust at us as a handy tool for empowerment perfectly sized to fit in our delicate lady hands.

Domestic Goddess

Sex Goddess

Business Goddess

Goddesses have been regulated to the realm of useful sales tactic.

We think we are being empowered, making progress, when we’re really paddling in circles with one oar,  trying to shove each other overboard with the other and completely ignoring the sinking boat.

Every time I see some business using the word goddess, I get a little rage-y. Occasionally I’m pleasantly surprised and they are offering something that isn’t full of misogynistic wank. Most of the time, it’s some ‘perfect woman’ bullshit that’s getting a nice pat on the head from the patriarchy while emptying your wallet.

“The Perfect Woman is a form of violence against women, but it is violence that we are required to enact against each other and ourselves.

Any time we encourage or teach another girl or woman – or ourselves – to be The Perfect Woman, we are doing harm to all women.” Kelly Diels

Take Aphrodite, for example. Isn’t she the ultimate sex/love goddess? Beautiful. Lusted after. Long and lean. Completely conforming to the patriarchal standard for beauty. Just what every woman should be striving for. Right?

Buy into the marketing. Be the Barbie doll. Big tits, little waist, wealthy, total lack of vocal cords and all.

Forget how the Mount Olympus Boy’s Club tried tame and control her or how she did whatever the fuck she wanted anyway.

I wonder if those people selling Aphrodite This & and Aphrodite That have worked with her, heard her story in her own words or only know her as a watered down goddess of love and beauty.

When Aphrodite speaks to me, I hear a story of a women who took risks for love, pushed back against the men who would cage her and never stopped fighting for the space to be herself.

Goddesses are not cute marketing ploys.

They don’t exists to show you how to clean the house, make bank, diet & give your man a bj while wearing the perfect outfit. They are not interested in teaching you how to be a ‘Good Girl’.

But there is a ton of Goddess Academies, Goddess Universities, and Goddess Colleges trying to do just that. Some of which have nothing to do with goddess work or if they do it comes in the form of Spiritual Bypassing fluffy nonsense.

I believe in taking back our Goddesses, reclaiming their stories. Freeing them from the patriarchy so that we can free ourselves.