Tag: abuse

WTF Did I Just Read: Abduction

WTF Did I Just Read is a regular-ish feature all about all the fuckery in romance & erotica fiction. I read this shit so you don’t have to.

 

One of the most disturbing trends in romance/erotica to me, is abduction. Not the role playing between consenting adults either.

To be honest, I haven’t actually been able to finish one of these stories. They are so fucked up. They seem to be popping up more and more in paranormal romances. I’m not sure how often this theme shows up in other genres.

The theme goes like this:

Woman is abducted, forcefully taken somewhere against her will.

The abductor, whether he’s done the deed himself or hired someone, is in need of a mate and can only accomplish this by stealing a woman.

The woman is scared/angry and not having any of it at first.

Then by magical means, drugs/spells/potions, mind control or simply wearing her down with his extremely hot body & non stop advances, she falls madly in love with him/his unbelievable hotness.

I have such a hard time with this being a thing being sold to women as hot romance.

You were abducted? Who fucking cares, the dude is hot and has an epic dick. Still not into? We have ways around that. Drugs and/or mind control will loosen that pussy right up. Seriously, he’s really a nice guy with super cock. Everyone knows, a guy can do anything he wants to a woman if he has a super cock. Even if it’s only super in his own mind. 

Let’s be clear on what these stories are saying.

It’s ok if he’s been mean to you, taken you against your will, drugs and manipulates you, and cut you off from your family and friends. This is hot, sexy, and the only way you’ll find love, loser.

This harmless bit of fantasy, grooms us and prepares us for abuse in real life. It teaches us that this is what it is to be desired and loved. It reinforces negative gender roles.

One of the reasons women read romance and erotica is for the fantasy of a perfect man. What does that say about us and our society when that perfect man is an abuser wrapped up as hot sex machine?

Is it ok for your man to drug you if he fucks your brains out afterward?

Is it ok that he cuts you off from family and friends if he eat pussy like a god?

What if he hits you?

What about the moment he goes too far and you end up dead? Was the sex worth it?

In fiction these abductors always turn out to be great guys that just had some bad luck meeting women or are also being forced against their will to follow tradition. It’s a nice cop out. It let’s them off the hook for their abusive behavior.

You know we’re not supposed to hold abusers responsible for their actions, right? (WRONG!) It let’s them be abuser & savior at the same time. Win for asshole dudes everywhere!

Empath? Clairsentient?

There is some confusion about what Clairsentience is and what an Empath is. This is because the two things are closely related, overlapping in many ways, and because of New Age Wank.

I am clairsentient. I’m not an empath. I sense energy. It allows me to intuitively ‘know’ a person or if place has bad vibes. While I can tell how someone is feeling and have empathy for them, I don’t take on their feelings as my own. I can tell what emotions are mine.

Some people are more sensitive and can internalize other people’s shit without realizing that is what is happening.

They drink it in until they drown, believing it is the normal way for them to be in the world, that it’s good or their calling/job. New Age Wank supports this belief, especially in women. Emotional & mental labor. 

I believe we all need to take care & responsibility of our energies, do groundings and clearings, be aware if what we are feeling belongs to us or to someone/thing else.

People who are clairsentient or an empath:

Are tuned into the emotions & energy fields of others.

Can sense the energy of objects and places.

Can have gut reactions to things & may or may not be immediately clear on why.

Can be easily overwhelmed by crowds, violent situations (even if it’s just a picture or a story) and situations that require emotional & mental labor.

Where’s the wank?

In people & teachings that use being an empath as an excuse to be a manipulative ass or to not deal with their own shit.

I’m an empath, I know what you are feeling better than you do. I see clearly where you don’t.

Creating endless drama & lack of responsibility for one’s own actions.

It’s ok to be sad when someone else is sad. It’s another thing to wrap yourself into so completely that you lose yourself. Or to use their sadness as a weapon against them.

I think many people who believe they are empaths are really clairsentient and not dealing with things well or are neither and are abusive. (This can be purposeful abuse or unintentional because they are unaware that what they are doing is abuse.) Either way there is a lot of healing that needs doing.

I know all the cool kids are doing it. Everybody thinks they are Deanna Troi.

We are not all Deanna Troi. Sad I know.

If you pick up some wonky energy, clear it away.

If someone’s energy triggers something in you it’s a signal that there is healing needed done there or that you need to be on your guard around that person.

You can be supportive of others without taking on their fuckery as your own.

If someone tells you they are an empath then tries to manipulate or gaslight or make you responsible for their shit, cut them off from your energy and set clear boundaries for that person.

Let them know what your boundaries are and stick to them. Get them out of your life if possible. If not possible, limit their access to you. Do energetic cord cuttings after every encounter with them. Shield your energy before interacting them.

I get that it can be hard to do. It might go against Love & Light Wank you’ve taught, but there is nothing loving in allowing others to harm you. It’s not showing them love and it’s not showing yourself love.

Let me repeat that, there is nothing loving in allowing others to harm you.

 

 

 

 

 

Love & Light/New Age is abusive AF

Their spaces overflow with Spiritual Bypassing, Female Lifestyle Empowerment Branding, thinly veiled abuse.

When I decided to shift directions with my biz after being called to notice how Goddesses had turned into marketing ploys, I asked several groups of women if they had negative experiences within the Love & Light/New Age crowd.

I was shocked to hear how many of them had suffered some form of abuse or felt like they’d been financially ripped off.

The spiritual paths & teachings that were supposed to heal us became twisted tools of further harm. The sacred circles/places just another sanctuary for abusers to hide.

I had pretty much cut myself off from these communities when I was much younger, I didn’t feel comfortable, but I couldn’t pinpoint why. Now that I’m trying ease back into this industry, it’s very clear to me what kind of work I need to be doing.

You deserve better than have your wallet emptied & get shit on in the name of whatever Goddess or God  they’ve decided is cool at the moment.

Offerings of Love & Light are sweet, but it takes action to change the world. Love & Light let’s people, who are at a safe distance from the fire, feel like they’re helping out. Like they are good people.

If it doesn’t help?

“Well, you weren’t being positive enough. You attracted this with your negative thinking. You need to buy this cleansing spray/incense/crystal and take my special training for the low price of $999. Can’t afford it? You don’t love yourself. “

This is total bullshit and it needs to stop. Let’s start seeing this for what is it, abuse, not spiritual enlightenment.

I’m the sort of person that just can’t sit quietly by when shit like this is going on. I have zero tolerance for fuckery. I’m the kind of woman who makes grown men piss their damn pants. He was shooting his rifle in a very unsafe manor.

I have mastered the art of seeming more dangerous than I am.

I’m not a violent person.

I don’t promote violence.

I also have no fucking problem with getting violent when a situation calls for it.

This is what makes me so good at helping other people (mostly women) stand up/speak up/bitch up.

 

Need some help with that? Check out Own Your Magick or Contact Me.