Tag: change

There is another life out there and I want it.

I’m not happy.

Yes, I have things to be happy about and I love everyone one of them, but I’m not happy.

This isn’t the life I want to be living. It’s a total asshole thing to say. It’s selfish. It’s like telling my husband he isn’t good enough. Which isn’t remotely true.

Maybe discontent is a better word. No. No, it’s not.

There is too much content-ness going on here. Settled. Comfortable. Suffocating. Binding.

I want something different. Long for. Crave.

The ache of this unknow unlived life pulses with every beat of my heart.

The pounding of a drum trying to change the dance without knowing how.

I want to travel. Let my bare feet touch the ground in new strange places. Stay long enough to know if I’ve found a new home.

I want a wildly successful business that supports me in every way. That sets me on fire and helps me spread that fire. Burn the world down.

I want lazy mornings in bed. Sheets that feel like heaven against my skin. Sex.

I want clothes that help me feel amazing. That fit. That are just as sexily geeky and gothy as I am.

I want a healthy body. One that performs all the tasks I need it to. Without suffering. Body love with ease.

I want a home to come home to. A house with working parts. Comfortable and beautiful spaces. Welcoming spaces. Sanctuary.

I want a car. Maybe two. A classic car that screams sex. The perfect gleaming black paint job. A truck that works hard. Roaring engine. Mud fling tires. Ever part performing to perfection. Creams jeans.

Bonfires. Starry skies. Chocolate. Full body massages.

It gives me the chills just thinking about it. The good chills. The ones you get when your lover brushes their lips along your naked skin.

The hidden blessings of ridiculous tangerine ball bags

Change_zpsed420ec3America seems to have gone crazy. There are a crap ton of people who believe Donald Trump would make a good president.

The world is looking at us like they’ve just discovered that we’re the ‘Nice Guy’ at the party. You know the one who pretends to be a gentleman until you refuse his advances and he assaults you.

While some people are shocked that a hate spewing fuck muppet (thank you Scotland) like Donald is so popular right now, I’m really not. Even though it seems like everyone has lost their damned minds and everything is going straight to hell, it’s really the rumblings of something better trying to break through.

There are going to be people that dig in their heels and do everything thing they can to stop the destruction of the old ways. As things crack open, light shines into all the dark places that need to be healed, all the skeletons in our collective closet, like the things Trump represents, are going to come tumbling out. We have to face them. See them for what they are, so that we can heal, grow and change.

Trump (and people like him) is a reflection of our collective darkness, of all the things we’ve pushed away and tried to hide without actually dealing with it or healing it. Trump Puppets are me, they are you and all the shameful things we do as a society. We may not want to admit that, but if we don’t, we can’t begin to fix this.

Trump running for president is a manifestation of all fuckery that we as a nation and society need to face and heal so that we can grow into something better. It’s like tearing open and old wound to dig the shrapnel out before it kills you and the only tools you have are a butter knife and a pair of pliers. It’s gonna fucking hurt. It’s going to take time to heal. It’s going to leave a glorious scar to remind us of our strength.

While we are all looking at each other like What The Actual Fuck?, it’s important to try and keep ourselves open to the opportunities that this craziness brings up.

We can clearly see where we don’t want to go.

We don’t have to calmly walk down the path or let them drag us into dark corners. The Trump Puppets are standing proudly and screaming at us what needs healed. All we have to do is listen and get to work healing it.

It’s like something being wrong with your car. Maybe you don’t know much about cars, but after awhile you notice your car isn’t running as well as it did before. It’s not clear what is wrong, but something just isn’t right. Then the check engine light comes on. Things are still going OK, but you know you should take your car to a mechanic to get checked out. Mechanics are expensive so you let I go for awhile. Then your car starts making weird noises. It doesn’t fire right up every time you turn the key.

You can go to the mechanic now and get things fixed before your car leaves you stranded or you can ignore a little while longer.

Trump and his puppets are the weird noises and flashing warning lights.

We can pay attention, act like responsible adults and do what needs to be done to get shit fixed.

Or ignore it all and be really fucking pissed when it breaks down, leaving us stranded in the middle of no where with our hungry kids screaming in the back seat.

This isn’t end times. It’s a wake up call.

 

Yes, all lives matter. Yes, you can suck donkey balls.

The earth shakes as their feet dance to the pounding of the war drum in their hearts.

Goddesses of war.

Goddesses of protection.

Goddesses of hearth and home.

Their whooping battle cries piercing lullabies that stoke the fire in our bellies.

Goddesses of war.

Goddesses of protection.

Goddesses of hearth and home.

Let us breath fire that does not scorch the skin, but starts a wild fire in the soul.

Goddesses of war.

Goddesses of protection.

Goddesses of hearth and home.

Dance with us, the singers of your sacred songs.

Place your armor around us, your shield maidens.

Heal what wounds us, your battle weary children.

 

There has been a fuck ton of violence happening all around us. This is normal. This should come as no surprise to any of us. This is the country we’ve created. We’ve created it with our hate, silence, ignorance, laziness, greed  and the manipulation used to make sure we stay asleep in our Matrix pods.

This is the country we’ve always been building, even if we weren’t aware it was. This country was build on a foundation of oppression and murder.

I’ve struggled with how to talk about these hate crimes. I don’t know if there is any right thing to say. There is no easy solution.

I’m outraged. I want to wrap my dragon wings around the abused, hurting and suffering and turn their attackers to ash with my dragon fire.  Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), I can’t give Smaug a lesson in burning the world down.

Maybe curse them with a puss filled demon pox on their naughty bits.

I know many of my counter parts in the Spiritual/Metaphysical world are spewing Love & Light down on us from their unicorns. It is so much easier to imagine a white light and say a quick prayer than to actually do a fucking thing.  So much easier to keep your hands clean.

As a working Witch who never backs down from a bully, I can’t simply light a candle and be satisfied with myself. As a healer, I can’t witness this violent change that we are experiencing and not do what I can to help people through this process.

Part of that work means actually being available to people who need help. If you feel you could use an energy working or just someone to talk to, please contact me. I’ll do free group sessions. This is not about getting you to buy something from me. This is about me serving you and creating connections so we can build stronger communities.

I’ll keep dancing my war dance until I can no longer dance or the war is over.  Even then I’ll feel as if I haven’t done enough.